Accept change and Adapt

I’ve just spent 3 days with a large group of those that know sign language, about 700 people. On my way there I thought of many blog topics, and the stresses of my muteness. But now after the 3 days are over, I have nothing. It was for the deaf and no they still don’t accept me. But I could communicate for 3 days with everyone without asking for help. I can’t even express how that feels. I still sign like a child but whatever if I could sign like a rockstar they wouldn’t care I’m not deaf. I think it’s different for the hearing who sign because they’re not lost or in between.

The convention is an experience. I’m so glad I get to go.

As I lay in bed last night thinking about the convention, I was listening to the summer bugs and think of all the things I love to listen to like; thunderstorms, my kids calling me mom and now hearing my grandson learning to talk, my husband saying Hun, the sounds of happy people. I need to appreciate I can hear. Not perfectly it’s gotten worse. My daughter says I need hearing aids, but I am thankful.

What I miss. The other day I had a dream I could talk, normally I sign in my dreams. But in this dream, I could talk, to a random stranger I was talking and connecting, it felt so natural and good. We talked about nothing significant, organizing I think, but that connection I woke up craving. I searched doctors again that morning, with no luck.

I need to accept this change and adapt. For me this means to really learn ASL better and to stop looking back. I just don’t know if I’m there yet.